You Can Love Both: A Third Culture Kid’s Guide to Not Choosing Sides

Third Culture Kid (TCK)

Let’s clear something up: just because you have a new address doesn't mean you have to trade one part of yourself for another. You can love where you came from and where you are now. That’s not confusion—it’s range.

What is a Third Culture Kid

I’m what’s called a Third Culture Kid, or TCK if you're acronym-friendly. It’s someone who grows up in a culture different from the one their parents came from. I grew up in the overlap—think Los Angeles, Bangkok, and more than a few zip codes in between, but somehow all feel like home. It’s not always tidy. But it’s honest, layered, and alive.

I love California. I love the ocean air, the casual slang, the way strangers say “bro” with sincerity. But I also light up when I hear Thai in a crowded room, when the scent of lemongrass and chili reminds me of my roots. And just because I’ve fallen hard for Bangkok’s chaos, spirit, and late-night food stalls doesn’t mean I’ve ghosted In-N-Out or SoCal sunsets. I hold them all.

You Don't Have to Choose

Some folks seem to think you have to pick. That moving forward means erasing where you started. Like we’re only allowed one cultural subscription at a time. Cute theory—but no.

For those of us raised in the in-between, the idea of choosing just one version of ourselves feels... limited. We were built to blend. We know that identity isn't a zero-sum game. It’s a mosaic.

There’s a quiet beauty in holding space for both the old and the new. In letting childhood traditions and current joys sit at the same table. In knowing that your sense of home isn’t a fixed dot on a map—it’s something you carry with you, shape, and redefine as you go.

You Get to Love it All

So, to anyone who’s ever crossed a border, blended worlds, or built a life in places your ancestors might not recognize—you’re not alone. You don’t have to choose. You get to love both. You get to love ALL.

And if someone tells you otherwise? Just smile, wish them well, and keep thriving in the layered, expansive, and beautifully complicated life they couldn’t even begin to imagine.