Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Harry Potter Spoilers

my friend james, who hasn't watched the harry potter movies before, is currently on a mission to watch ALL of the previous harry potter movies (one each day) this week before seeing harry potter and the half-blood prince on friday. when he started on monday, he posted a status update on his facebook that lead to a hilarious thread as his friends tried to spoil the movie for him. it's too good not to share, so here it is:

James (Mon at 8:49pm) is watching the first Harry Potter, and someone might have already spoiled a major plot point for him. Ryan D. FAIL if it turns out true.

Kevin (at 9:06pm July 13) Harry Potter dies. There are no sequels. The End.

Abhishek (at 9:07pm July 13) It was really sad when Harry Potter died. But Kevin's lying. He actually comes back from the dead as a zombie in the second film and as a race car driver in the third. oops... have I said too much?

Jason (at 9:12pm July 13) He comes back as a zombie, but not just any zombie, The Zombie General! Leading an army of undead versus the Orcs he marches them against Al Qaeda, who promptly blows up a Vanegon and sends Harry straight back to Hell.
Keith Rhee (at 9:14pm July 13) The oxygen bomb kills Godzilla. King Kong falls to his doom. The Titanic sinks. ;)

Kevin (at 9:19pm July 13) Well since we're all spoiling the sequels for James anyway... Harry gets one chance to escape from Hell, but he has to retrieve the golden compass which can only be found in a place called Narnia.

Jen (at 9:20pm July 13) GASP the titanic sinks?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Keith (at 9:24pm July 13) Harry Potter duels Snape and has his hand cut off by Snape. Snape reveals that he is Harry's father. Oh wait...

David (at 9:30pm July 13) actually what kevin means is his soul is dead. he sold it and is forever damned, but with the help of hades he forged the blades of chaos and was able to escape from hell. now with the help of the titans, he plans to climb up mount olympus and seek revenge against his father, zeus.

Keith (at 9:31pm July 13) Now Harry has to spend 30 hours outside of the main quest line to go on a side quest, get an extra-rare item that only 5% of fanboys get, to forge the ultimate weapon. Oh wait, that's right out of Square-Enix's playbook.

Abhishek (at 9:32pm July 13) LOL. I am proud to have contributed to this thread.

James (Mon at 10:14pm) is now watching the second Harry Potter film.

Kevin (at 10:32pm July 13) Harry Potter dies. There are no more sequels after the second film. The end.

Andy (at 10:52pm July 13) Harry potter comes back in the Thriller video

Jen (at 11:21pm July 13) Next year Harry Potter is gonna drop an album with MJ, TuPac and Elvis.

(at 11:42pm July 13) Andreas: I've never seen any of them, so I'm watching them all this week.

James (Tue at 8:09pm) is now watching "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban".

(at 10:39pm July 14) Harry Potter dies. There are no more sequels after this. The End.

James (Tue at 10:36pm) The third in the series of films feels like the darkest, most mature, and most well-acted. David Thewils as Prof. Lupin and Gary Oldman as Sirius Black are so fantastic in their roles. This one is easily my favorite so far. Mischief managed.

James (Tue at 10:37pm) Three down, two to go.

Kevin (at 10:40pm July 14) What's the point? Harry Potter dies!!

James (at 10:45pm July 14) Kevin has the best synopsis. After every film, Harry Potter dies and there are no sequels. The end.

Kevin (at 10:47pm July 14) The end. = P

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